I never liked this about myself…
That when I was a child (and even on occasion now), if I was the focus of attention my mouth would clamp shut, all words would leave me, my heart would race and my face would go the brightest shade of red….🥵
Kids especially, would laugh at my embarrassment. I would just wish for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.😢
Communication and the ability to express my thoughts, feelings and knowledge is not something that comes naturally to me.
It has taken a lot of inner work and forcing myself out of my comfort zone MANY TIMES OVER to become a fairly confident adult that will speak in public so that I can share what I love and feel so passionately about. ☺️
I was born with a quiet nature and was a very shy, sensitive child.
My school years were very challenging.
Criticism from teachers and being bullied by other kids made my life miserable.
I was keen to just fade into the background of everything, desperate to avoid further humiliation.
I decided that life was safer when you couldn’t be seen or heard.
Safe as it may have seemed, it didn’t really make life enjoyable!
I got fired from my first job in a hairdressers for being TOO SHY! 😳
Relationships were disastrous as I couldn’t express my feelings and thoughts which would lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
I couldn’t express myself creatively as I was fearful of my writing/ art/ singing being judged.
Life was not really that much fun this way. So I knew I had to change.
That change is a work in progress but I’ve definitely become more confident and live a much happier life as a result.
I worked with a variety of professionals who helped in various ways over the years- counsellor, vocal coaches and spiritual facilitators.
It’s an on-going self care practice!
I believe it is so important to be able to express ourselves in a way that is loving and kind to ourselves and those around us.
It just doesn’t necessarily come as easily as we think it should.
Does this resonate with you?
I share this now from my heart to yours.♥️
Bodhini x 🙏