I never liked this about myself…

I never liked this about myself…

That when I was a child (and even on occasion now), if I was the focus of attention my mouth would clamp shut, all words would leave me, my heart would race and my face would go the brightest shade of red….🥵

Kids especially, would laugh at my embarrassment. I would just wish for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.😢

Communication and the ability to express my thoughts, feelings and knowledge is not something that comes naturally to me.

It has taken a lot of inner work and forcing myself out of my comfort zone MANY TIMES OVER to become a fairly confident adult that will speak in public so that I can share what I love and feel so passionately about. ☺️

I was born with a quiet nature and was a very shy, sensitive child.

My school years were very challenging.
Criticism from teachers and being bullied by other kids made my life miserable.

I was keen to just fade into the background of everything, desperate to avoid further humiliation.

I decided that life was safer when you couldn’t be seen or heard.

Safe as it may have seemed, it didn’t really make life enjoyable!

I got fired from my first job in a hairdressers for being TOO SHY! 😳

Relationships were disastrous as I couldn’t express my feelings and thoughts which would lead to misunderstandings and resentment.

I couldn’t express myself creatively as I was fearful of my writing/ art/ singing being judged.

Life was not really that much fun this way. So I knew I had to change.

That change is a work in progress but I’ve definitely become more confident and live a much happier life as a result.

I worked with a variety of professionals who helped in various ways over the years- counsellor, vocal coaches and spiritual facilitators.

It’s an on-going self care practice!

I believe it is so important to be able to express ourselves in a way that is loving and kind to ourselves and those around us.

It just doesn’t necessarily come as easily as we think it should.

Does this resonate with you?

I share this now from my heart to yours.♥️

Bodhini x 🙏

One thought on “I never liked this about myself…

  1. Bless you what a transformation. Your kind words help guide us. I hope that I can get some of that self awareness and calm confidence you show us 🙏

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