New Moon reflections for May

Good afternoon everyone,

Happy New Moon 🌚 (19.59 GMT)

This card has kept coming up for me over the last week or so and in the last 24 hours I’ve had an influx of inspiration and guidance.

I work closely with the lunar cycle and especially find affirmations and intention potent at the time of the New Moon.

So I felt guided this morning to share this particular affirmation here.

From Soulful Woman guidance cards

This particular moon is said to be the most potent for manifestation this year.

But what if we don’t know what we actually want?

Sometimes we don’t feel clear on that.

Sometimes we ignore what we want because it doesn’t suit those around us, so we talk ourselves out of it and convince ourselves that we should want what they want for us……(this is not recommended as usually leads to resentment and/ or regret at some point)

Patience is a virtue that is really recommended for the energy of today.

If you are not clear on what you want or how to proceed and need guidance or inspiration, allow it to come in divine and perfect timing.

Life is not a race. Be patient with yourself and whatever you decide make sure it aligns with your values.

Your values are important. Live by the values of your own heart, not the values created in the minds of others.

This moon is also about stability and self worth.

Find your centre, ground yourself and don’t be swayed by thoughts that “you are not good enough” and “others know better”

You are enough and if you listen to the heart, you will know what you need to know….when you need to know it.

Thank you for being here. If you would like to receive upcoming new and full moon reflections along with recommended practices, please consider becoming a supporter or member on my buymeacoffee page.

Click here to visit buymeacoffee

Wishing you a beautiful new moon.

Bodhini

How do you feel about death?

How do you feel about death?

A question that we don’t often wish to answer or is not deemed appropriate to ask. It is socially acceptable to talk about life but not so much about death.

I had a curious experience with death once. It is difficult for me to articulate because there are no words for something which is truly beyond words but I will try because I really believe that we do a great disservice to ourselves and our children when we don’t encourage acceptance of death.

I first came to learn the importance of befriending and meditating upon death as a young adult exploring Buddhism. It instantly resonated with me. The teachings and practice have been a valuable support when I have had loved ones pass and found they also helped me when I had my own strange meeting with death.

I woke up one morning a few years ago and instantly felt that something was different. There was a feeling of being held by a vast, all consuming presence that seemed to expand throughout my being and even beyond the bedroom. This wasn’t like feeling the presence of a spirit or an angel. This was infinite, still and silent but seemed to want to be noticed.

I couldn’t speak and inside I was asking “what is this?” What felt like a quiet whisper arising from my heart responded with “death”.

Then there was internal panic. Had death come for me? I wasn’t sick so how or why would I die? What should I do? You can’t tell your loved ones that you might die this week but you don’t know when or why or how….and I can’t leave them now!

Then suddenly I felt soothed by this presence and I drew comfort from my faith, my previous experiences of loss that had me reassured that there are no endings, just transitions.

I decided no longer to resist but to surrender to this presence instead. To just be.

It was beautiful, it was steady and peaceful. After resting there for a while, its intensity began to subside and I felt able to move, but over the course of the next five days, it would return each morning and in random waves throughout the day.
Sometimes the anxiety would return along with the presence prompting me to surrender again and as before it would pass. It was quite surreal.

Then on the sixth day it did not return but I received the devastating news that my beloved grandmother had passed unexpectedly in the early hours of the morning. Slipping away in her sleep in her own home, a place full of love and cherished memories.

Looking back, I can’t be sure what any of this means.
Maybe in some strange way, life was preparing me for the death of a loved one.
For even though we can accept and even befriend death, it does not mean that we will not feel grief or loss.

What it does mean however is that we are less likely to get stuck in that grief and pain helping us to accept that in every moment, we are living and dying.

When you accept the impermanence of life, you don’t take things for granted. There is full appreciation for each moment of life and a willingness to show up for it all. Even the stuff that is out of your control.

Contemplation upon death is part of a spiritual practice. It actually changes your relationship with everyone when you remember that they are going to die one day.

It is not dwelling on loss or being morbid. It is just making peace with the inevitable, a reminder to live fully and no longer waste time on bitterness, pettiness and greed.

Life is a fleeting, precious beauty and I believe death is not an ending but a transition.
I invite you to contemplate how you feel about death and see if it alters your relationship with life and with those you love.

I would love to hear your reflections to this post if you feel comfortable sharing in the comments.

With love
Bodhini x

Spring Rising

The first, very subtle stirrings of Spring can be felt 🌱
Every November through to January, I experience a longing to really hibernate, to go within, slow down, rest in silence and withdraw from the busyness of modern life.

A period of introspection, reflection and integration of all that I have experienced of the year leading up to that time.

It can feel dark at times, not all that arises in those reflections are pleasant or comfortable but it’s important to shine the light on them and process them all the same.

The wisdom and support that I’ve received throughout the year from loved ones, teachers and mentors keeps me feeling safe and nourished as my mind tries to convince me that I need to work, need to be busy and all this resting and nesting is wasting valuable time♥️

Mind is still learning that resistance is futile ♥️

Over the last week, I’ve began to sense a slight, subtle stirring sensation arising from within.
A bit of curiosity, a bit more energy, sudden bursts of inspiration.
I’ve noticed the first green shoots emerging from the ground and buds peeping from branches.

Mind starts getting excited… wanting to take that little spurt of energy and run miles ahead….
C’mon back to work, back to business!
Let’s do this! Let’s do that!

But the heart knows to pace itself. Snow drops and daffodils don’t burst forth from the ground fully grown 🌱
This little seed is going to take her time, enjoying the aliveness of each moment..
Allowing everything to grow and evolve in divine and natural timing.

Nothing in nature is rushed. Yet it manages to do all that needs to be done.

So I haven’t been showing up so much on social media and actually was guided to take a break from it as often as I can.

My mind REALLY resisted that decision as there is so much pressure to show up 24/7, work on your brand and your message…. blah, blah, blah.

But I am still here, loving you and supporting you and I’m just taking my time to find my feet as we step towards Spring 2021 together 💐🌱♥️
I would love for you to join me for the Spring Rising Meditation Series starting on 7th February. Please visit the website for details.

Love always
Bodhini

Dear Fear,

Dear Fear,
How are you, my old friend?
You certainly seem to be thriving at the moment.
You’ve had a busy year casting more of your darkness into the heart of humankind.
Your resolve seems stronger than ever to keep us in our limitations.
Watching you at work got me thinking 🤔

When did we first meet?
I can’t remember a time when you haven’t been in my life in one form or another.

In fact, some of my earliest memories are of you.
Holding me captive as a child under the duvet, you had me terrified of the shadows.
Terrified of even my own shadow!
You tied my stomach up in knots before school every morning.
I can see now that the bullies were not the problem.
It was you, Fear.
They responded to you by taking it out on me and I took refuge in making myself ill to avoid having to deal with them and to deal with you.

You did a good number on me. You and your mates, shame and humiliation.
It was so satisfying when I finally had the strength to tell you all to go fuck yourselves.

And for a while, I managed to loosen your grip but then you came back with a vengeance..
As a fear of being unlovable, of being alone.

Oh the degrading things you had me do, the heartache you caused, the lies about myself that you had me believe.

But again, I eventually saw through you with thanks to my dear friends, love, faith and trust.
They brought me back to my senses time and time again and revealed the truth to me.

The power that you have is just an illusion. A very clever one, but still an illusion no less.

As real as you feel, you are just an idea, a story that the mind has invested in.

Such a convincing story that we give our power away to you.
People fear change, death, loss and sickness. All inevitable parts of the humble yet beautiful experience of being human.
You cripple many into frozen beings who then deny themselves the opportunity to grow and evolve because you’ve convinced them that these rites of human passage are somehow terrible and destructive.

Yet there is so much healing, love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and growth that these hardest aspects of life can bring.

Without them, we would not really be having the full human experience, which is only temporary after all.

So Fear, with deep gratitude for all that you have taught me, I am letting you know that we must part ways once more.

I’ve made friends with death, grief, pain, sorrow and uncertainty.
They have been remarkable teachers, bringing such wisdom into my life that unfortunately for you- I do not fear them anymore.

Will you try and sneak back into my life in another disguise?
I don’t doubt it for a second!
If you succeed and I eventually spot you, I will open my arms and I will embrace you.
I will love you, Fear and I will thank you for teaching me more about myself again.

Until then if you could just turn your intensity levels on the collective down a notch? 🙏🏻🤞🏻

Take it easy ♥️

Your friend
Bodhini x

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I am not really sure what to ask for this Christmas. I am still processing the gifts that the Universe sprinkled generously and unexpectedly throughout 2020.
Although initially some appeared to feel more like a curse!

So, I’d like to take this moment and thank the Universe for the following gifts;

the opportunity to face fear, to embrace it, to understand it and make peace with it.

Time to slow down, to be outdoors, to connect more deeply with the natural world.

Extensive quality time with my daughter in her last months before flying the nest.

Inviting me to step out of my comfort zone, to get creative and get online to save my business and support my family, friends and clients.

To reach more people than ever before, bringing connection and community when many of us felt desperately challenged.

To appreciate and respect the differences between us, our beliefs, our views and our coping mechanisms.

To develop further compassion including towards myself.

The opportunity to investigate my own beliefs and conditioning and understanding towards others and theirs.
To go deeper within myself, my studies, my development and practices.

I am so grateful for these unexpected blessings and I give thanks every day.

I do not know what I can ask for this year.
I am not one for wish lists or manifesting. I have no expectations for 2021.

What I do know is that we can trust that we will always get what we need……even if it is not what we might want.

Thank you Santa for listening.

Your friend
Bodhini x

I had to trust that it was going to happen

I HAD TO TRUST THAT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!

About four years ago, chanting had become a precious and deeply valued part of my daily meditation practice. 📿

My heart was yearning to learn more about devotional singing and related practices within the yoga tradition.

So I was thrilled to be invited to apply for a place on a 200 hour training to study and explore this particular path of yoga (known as Bhakti yoga) further.

I was sooo excited at the prospect of this new adventure! I had a strong feeling that it was important for me to go for it. Even though at the time I wasn’t entirely sure that I was ready for it. (or a fear that I wasn’t worthy of it was another story that I used to like to tell myself).

There was one problem however… how to pay for the course?🤷🏼‍♀️

As a single parent on a low income and just a few hundred pounds in a savings account, how would I afford to pay over £2000 for something that as much as I wanted to with all my heart… seemed a bit self-indulgent for a parent on a tight budget?

I was disheartened for a moment but was still overcome by this strong sense that I was destined to be there on that course and that it WOULD HAPPEN.
I simply had to trust and wait for the way to be shown.🙏🏻

I immediately sent off my application before I could talk myself out of applying.

THEN less than two weeks later a letter arrived from my bank….. I could not believe what I was reading. 😳My heart raced as I read it several times to make sure that I had not misunderstood what it was saying!

My bank was informing me that they had overcharged me interest on a loan that I had repaid over a year earlier . They were not only paying back the interest but also compensation…which in total amounted to the amount that I needed to pay for the course. WOW!

I could not believe it. It felt like a miracle!
I was so delighted that I jumped up and down for ages and even cried a few happy tears!

That was an extremely unexpected outcome.

Trusting in my intuition and having faith in unknown possibilities was something that I had struggled with before this experience.

I would always doubt myself and want to know exactly how plans would proceed so that I could feel safe and in control but actually I was limiting my true potential in life by living in that way.

I had no idea what I was letting myself in for by taking part in the course. I had no expectations but I trusted that I would get what I needed from it and my heart knew that it was the right thing to do.

It was by no means easy and I had to overcome many challenges to get myself through it but I am glad that I went for it and that I saw it through. It turned out to be the beginning of many more adventures.
😀
My trust and faith continued to lead me to unexpected places and experiences(including five weeks in India) and I now never doubt it for a second.

Self-doubt and a lack of faith can limit our potential and possible joy and happiness.

I have learnt that when I release doubt and fear, I make space in my life to enjoy something much more fulfilling!

We are able to access that state of peace, clarity and trust when our hearts are open to listening and receiving without expectation or agenda.
The heart practice in particular has really helped me with this.
♥️
Do you trust your intuition? When has following your intuition helped you?

I would love for you to tell me about it in the comment
With love
Bodhini

trustyourpath #trustyourintuition #listentoyourheart #faith #devotion #expecttheunexpected #selfbelief

I never liked this about myself…

I never liked this about myself…

That when I was a child (and even on occasion now), if I was the focus of attention my mouth would clamp shut, all words would leave me, my heart would race and my face would go the brightest shade of red….🥵

Kids especially, would laugh at my embarrassment. I would just wish for the ground to open up and swallow me whole.😢

Communication and the ability to express my thoughts, feelings and knowledge is not something that comes naturally to me.

It has taken a lot of inner work and forcing myself out of my comfort zone MANY TIMES OVER to become a fairly confident adult that will speak in public so that I can share what I love and feel so passionately about. ☺️

I was born with a quiet nature and was a very shy, sensitive child.

My school years were very challenging.
Criticism from teachers and being bullied by other kids made my life miserable.

I was keen to just fade into the background of everything, desperate to avoid further humiliation.

I decided that life was safer when you couldn’t be seen or heard.

Safe as it may have seemed, it didn’t really make life enjoyable!

I got fired from my first job in a hairdressers for being TOO SHY! 😳

Relationships were disastrous as I couldn’t express my feelings and thoughts which would lead to misunderstandings and resentment.

I couldn’t express myself creatively as I was fearful of my writing/ art/ singing being judged.

Life was not really that much fun this way. So I knew I had to change.

That change is a work in progress but I’ve definitely become more confident and live a much happier life as a result.

I worked with a variety of professionals who helped in various ways over the years- counsellor, vocal coaches and spiritual facilitators.

It’s an on-going self care practice!

I believe it is so important to be able to express ourselves in a way that is loving and kind to ourselves and those around us.

It just doesn’t necessarily come as easily as we think it should.

Does this resonate with you?

I share this now from my heart to yours.♥️

Bodhini x 🙏

Are you feeling WEARY? (When Everything Appears Really Yucky)

OK, Yucky may not (or actually it may) be the best word to describe 2020 and how we may be feeling about life right now, but I couldn’t find an alternative word beginning with Y.

However you choose to describe it, 2020 has created many opportunities for positive change but alongside it, also illness, grief, insecurity, doubt, tension and anxiety.

Events have left many of us feeling overwhelmed, emotionally and /or physically drained and even despondent. Totally weary!

Even just watching the news or flicking through social media feeds for five minutes can leave you feeling jaded and fatigued.

We try to make sense of it all. We do our best in what can feel like scrambling around in the dark and just as brighter times seem to be upon us, another problematic situation appears. Like 2020 has some kind of morbidly, weird conveyor belt of crap to throw at us.

So yes, we are weary.

We are extremely tired.

This is when really caring for ourselves is more important than ever.

When it is simply just our bodies that feel tired, we know what to do to remedy it. We can take a day off, put our feet up, have a nice bath and get more sleep.

What do we do when we feel weary to the bones of our entire being? When our minds are exhausted and our spirits low?

It is vital that we can find time and space to rest away from the challenges but also integrate any lessons that we have learnt from these recent experiences. Reflect on the goodness that can be found in hard times and allow that to inspire you.

Being able to gain a fresh perspective and return to life feeling stable and at ease, we can spark a new burst of energy and strength to keep us moving forward.

We need to make a commitment to our self-care, to carve out time in a space of serenity. Give ourselves the opportunity to replenish our body and find peace of mind.

However we choose to spend this time of self nourishment, it is important to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves. It is often easy when we feel down to berate ourselves for the way we have handled difficulties. We put pressure on ourselves to do better. Maybe we can do better next time, but we are only human after all. Being hard on yourself does not do much for self-improvement. It can actually only make you feel worse.

Everyone makes mistakes. We can’t expect to sail through this unprecedented time perfectly. See if you can smile through your mistake and make the lesson a blessing that will help you make wiser choices in the future.

The whole world is in need of healing and peace but it starts with each of us as individuals. We can’t give that which we don’t have.

So allow yourself to simply retreat and recover. Even just a small amount of time spent in a way that connects you to peace and joy can uplift you. What to you like to do that makes you really smile?

Be it meditation, movement, music, art or nature. Reading beautiful poems and inspiring stories, or even writing your own and expressing your thoughts and feelings in a journal.

It also important to remember if everything has just become too much to sit with on your own, then to please connect with others. You can be sure that many people are feeling this way too. Solace can often be found in walking and talking with a good friend. It could prove to be helpful to both of you!

This unique and surreal time that we find ourselves in will likely continue for a while. So look after yourself and it may inspire others to do the same.

Lets surf the waves of change and turbulence without allowing weariness to weigh us down. Then life may not appear so yucky after all 😉

A life changing moment

😭I could not believe that this was happening AGAIN…
Out of the blue. Unexpected.
Everything was going so well wasn’t it? We were so happy…weren’t we?
Obviously he wasn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️
I was heartbroken….again 💔
and it REALLY hit me this time, like a punch to the stomach
BUT…in that same moment as his words were sinking in- telling me that it was over..
I could hear my little internal voice finally shouting “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! “
I could not keep doing the same thing in relationships but expecting a different, happier outcome.
I was always looking for love OUTSIDE of myself 🧐
Hoping that I’d finally kissed enough frogs and found my Prince Charming 🐸 🤴
In that moment, I called out to the Great Spirit, the Divine Beloved and said “ that’s it! I’m done! I am all yours now and I need your help. Show me how to find peace and love within myself, so that I do not need to keep seeking it from another. I don’t know how to do this. Please guide me!”
I finally understood that seeking love outside of ourselves does not work (at least not for long).
That day changed my life forever. In ways that I could never have imagined as I sat there full of anguish and despair.
It was actually the best thing that could have happened for me as love now flows through me and my life abundantly.
Sometimes your greatest gifts can be magnificently disguised as your worst nightmares.
Miracles can manifest and healing can happen when we just let go and let life guide the way.🙏
Just trust in the highest power that you believe in and allow love and life to happen.

Meditation in isolation!

How is your meditation practice working for you now?🧘🏼‍♀️
Just last month, we were discussing here, what we find challenging about practicing meditation. For some, it was maintaining motivation, others it was frustration with a busy mind.

I wrote a couple of posts to help with these challenges which people said were helpful. Yay! 🥳

But then came Covid-19….all of our sudden, we were overwhelmed with all kinds of issues that certainly this generation has never had to comprehend before. Worldwide pandemic, isolation, loss of jobs and businesses, home schooling…if our minds wouldn’t be quiet before…well, they are certainly going to have a lot to say now!😫

So I am curious to know, how is your meditation practice now? Are you still practicing? Maybe you are meditating even more!
How has it changed (if it has)? Please let me know in the comments.🙏

Personally, I am doing more. I have added an additional practice to my routine and it is keeping me sane (although whether the rest of the household agrees may remain debatable).🤔 I’m not saying I find it flawlessly easy but it’s definitely helping me cope!

My additional practice which I decided to start on Spring Equinox and continue until Beltane (May Day) is the chanting of the Gayatri mantra 108 times. (More about this mantra further down).

Mantra meditation helps to keep me focused and I feel a strong connection to source through the vibration of a mantra whether it is recited silently, whispered or chanted aloud.
Mantra meditation doesn’t appeal to everyone but it works for me.
So I have my morning practice of pranayama and heart practice and then enjoying the Gayatri mantra at sunset.

What is the Gayatri mantra?
The Gayatri mantra has been recorded in the Rig Veda (an ancient collection of Vedic Sanskrit hymns), which was written more than 2500 years ago. It had possibly been chanted for many centuries before it was written down.
This mantra is often referred to as the Mother of the Vedas and is now chanted throughout the world with love.

There are many translations of the mantra. One that I like in particular is:
“We meditate on the glory of sacred light illuminating the three worlds (physical, mental, spiritual). May that divine light inspire our thoughts”

Chanting the mantra 108 times takes approximately 45 minutes and I am keeping a journal of my experience of it.

So, that is where I am at with my practice. I knew I needed to do more and I had faith that it would help because it always has.

So do let me know how things are going for you with your meditation. Let me know if I can help.

Thanks to Akasha of Lumiere Photography. This photo was taken during our yoga training in Rishikesh, India last year at the Sivanada Ghat.
Here we were inspired daily by the devotional chanting, rituals and meditation practices of ancient Yogi’s passed down through the millenia. They have lasted this long because they truly work.

With love to you and yours always
Bodhini