Dear Fear,
Dear Fear,
How are you, my old friend?
You certainly seem to be thriving at the moment.
You’ve had a busy year casting more of your darkness into the heart of humankind.
Your resolve seems stronger than ever to keep us in our limitations.
Watching you at work got me thinking
When did we first meet?
I can’t remember a time when you haven’t been in my life in one form or another.
In fact, some of my earliest memories are of you.
Holding me captive as a child under the duvet, you had me terrified of the shadows.
Terrified of even my own shadow!
You tied my stomach up in knots before school every morning.
I can see now that the bullies were not the problem.
It was you, Fear.
They responded to you by taking it out on me and I took refuge in making myself ill to avoid having to deal with them and to deal with you.
You did a good number on me. You and your mates, shame and humiliation.
It was so satisfying when I finally had the strength to tell you all to go fuck yourselves.
And for a while, I managed to loosen your grip but then you came back with a vengeance..
As a fear of being unlovable, of being alone.
Oh the degrading things you had me do, the heartache you caused, the lies about myself that you had me believe.
But again, I eventually saw through you with thanks to my dear friends, love, faith and trust.
They brought me back to my senses time and time again and revealed the truth to me.
The power that you have is just an illusion. A very clever one, but still an illusion no less.
As real as you feel, you are just an idea, a story that the mind has invested in.
Such a convincing story that we give our power away to you.
People fear change, death, loss and sickness. All inevitable parts of the humble yet beautiful experience of being human.
You cripple many into frozen beings who then deny themselves the opportunity to grow and evolve because you’ve convinced them that these rites of human passage are somehow terrible and destructive.
Yet there is so much healing, love, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and growth that these hardest aspects of life can bring.
Without them, we would not really be having the full human experience, which is only temporary after all.
So Fear, with deep gratitude for all that you have taught me, I am letting you know that we must part ways once more.
I’ve made friends with death, grief, pain, sorrow and uncertainty.
They have been remarkable teachers, bringing such wisdom into my life that unfortunately for you- I do not fear them anymore.
Will you try and sneak back into my life in another disguise?
I don’t doubt it for a second!
If you succeed and I eventually spot you, I will open my arms and I will embrace you.
I will love you, Fear and I will thank you for teaching me more about myself again.
Until then if you could just turn your intensity levels on the collective down a notch?
Take it easy ♥️
Your friend
Bodhini x